He’s Stuck Like Glue

Today was a hard day, as far as all things baby goes. Which means it was a hard day.

This parenting thing? It’s hard.

Everything is a tad more difficult with a baby velcroed to you. Hip, back, front, forward- facing, in my arms or in a carrier… It’s all challenging, because it’s all on me. But that’s where my youngest was happy— the only place he was happy today. If I even shifted like I was going to set him down, out came the lip and flushing cheeks.

And it’s the sweetest thing. It’s the thing that melts my exasperation/frustration/”I’m so touched out” attitude. In that moment, with that face, all I feel is my love for him and my need to give him comfort.

He’s four months old and teething something fierce. I am the only thing that soothes his pain, and all he needs is for me to hold him and give him a smile or two. What an incredible power I yield!

The novelty of that, of having this ability to essentially cure what ails him, is what gets me through a hard day. It keeps me going through my despair that my dish water went cold and I’m not even close to beginning laundry or anything else on my to- do list. I was going to write today… Productivity, ya know?

Instead, I’m laying down between a comfort nursing baby and a toddler who’s eating my stash of Reese’s Pieces Eggs (which I stole from his sister’s goody box and didn’t hide well enough). I’ll tell you a secret, though: I love it.

Does the state of my house and length of my to- do list kill me? Yes. Do I feel like all things children will eventually be my gateway to insanity? Absolutely. But I love it.

I saw a meme asking which pill would you take: the blue one that will allow you to go back in time and with what you now know and start over; or the red one that fasts forwards you to 45 years old with $50 million. I’d choose neither. Crazy right? I’d choose neither, because one changed decision could prevent me from meeting my husband and children and fast-forwarding means I would miss these days with my growing babies. Money means nothing when I’ve missed all the best parts of life.

Does the state of my house and length of my to- do list kill me? Yes. Do I feel like all things children will eventually be my gateway to insanity? Absolutely. But I love it.

This parenting thing? It’s hard. So is dealing with a teething, cranky baby while making sure my three year old gets a decent dinner. But I get the sweetest “I love you’s” and cuddles. I get the most beautiful smiles. I get to be the most powerful drug to ease their pain. And that’s worth everything.

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This hiking backpack has every other carrier beat when it comes to making an angry baby a happy baby.