Tell Me All

Tell me something special.
Tell me something golden.
Tell me something no one else has ever heard before.

Give me new words.
Make my ears ring with pleasure.

Tell me something sweetly.
Tell me something in a voice of silver.
Tell me in a way that shivers down my skin.

Whisper to me as if I’m your greatest secret.
Let your words be my undoing.

Tell me something deep.
Tell me something unwritten.
Tell me something to free my soul.

It’s Go Time

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When you start a new chapter in life, it can be exhilarating, incredible and terrifying. That’s where I am – at the beginning of a new chapter.

I have no idea how the pages to come are going to be written. This chapter may be the one that changes the tone of the whole book. In fact, I’m hoping so. This brings the fear, because how in the heck am I going to pull off something I have never done before? Or, the scariest question, what if I don’t and am a complete failure?

There’s a lot of pressure to succeed here, and it has nothing to do with glammer. I have three reasons as to why I can’t fail. They call me “momma”. This is where it hurts if I fail. This is also where my success will shine the brightest. This is why I’m writing my new chapter.

What we are doing now, have always done in the name of security, is not working. It’s not enough to committ ourselves and work hard for someone else in the hopes of promotioning. So, we made a decision to make a change, to try something we have never done before. We are no longer shooting for survival. We are shooting for success.

You may ask why that wasn’t already the goal. And I’ll answer, “Once upon a time, it was.”

“Once upon a time, it was, and it was so simple to dive in and never look back.”

It morphed slowly into settling for things that were safe, because my husband and I now have more than just ourselves to care for. When it was he and I, we jumped in and gave it our all. We survived on Ramen noodles, because we were going to build surfboards and spent our extra cash on all of the supplies. (Hey, they were quality and we caught quite a few waves on them.) But that was then.

Now we have a family and Ramen noodles just aren’t going to cut it. Risking it all for our starving – artist dreams changed into staying healthy and whole for our children. I don’t regret a single second of that, because our best intentions were in every decision and it was enough for the times that we needed it to be. Well, that’s no longer working.

We revisited what we are doing and decided we needed to do something different. I decided to do something different. Our children need us to change what we’re doing.

Now it’s go time. Here we are, trying to rebuild ourselves from ‘those that survive’ into those that succeed’.

It’s totally out of my comfort zone and definitely has the potential for failure. It’s also a dream that I have secretly held close to my heart since I was a child. So, here I am. I’m an imperfect me taking a leap of faith and hoping like hell that there’s a soft landing at the bottom.